February 14

David Barnhart
February 14, 2025

Fungus and moss. Alabama, 2025. Own photo.

Saint Valentine of Rome was martyred on this day in 269, but there are few reliable historical records about his deeds. His popularity has more to do with the greeting card industry than with his medieval association with courtly love. One of his legends is that he performed Christian marriages in secret, which I believe would make him a modern analogue to clergy who have performed gay weddings in secret.

Today also marks the death, in 2021, of William Meninger, a Trappist priest who is partially responsible for the renaissance of centering prayer and interest in the Enneagram.

Today also marks the massacre, in 2018, of 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. An additional 17 people were physically injured, and hundreds more continue to struggle with PTSD. The event and its aftermath continues to highlight the inaction and failure on the part of United States federal and state leadership to stand up to the gun lobby.

Reflection:

The most authentic sign we can give ourselves that we have actually begun the process of forgiveness is our prayer. This is true even if the only prayer we can say is to ask to want to forgive. In the beginning it may be too much for us even to pray for the person who hurt us. Perhaps all we can do is to pray for ourselves — to pray that for our own sake we may begin the process of forgiveness.

Father William Meninger

I thought about writing a reflection on love, but the date gave me the above events. And I’ll be honest: though I want to believe the quote about forgiveness, it sticks in my craw, juxtaposed as it is with the remembrance of yet another school massacre. I have a hard time applying Father Meninger’s words to my anger at the inaction of state and federal legislators, to their tolerance of violence, their hollow “thoughts and prayers,” and their fawning obedience to autocrats and money. Jesus was right: sex workers and gangsters are far more righteous than these powerful men who prostitute their souls.

But I also do not think these feelings are antithetical to forgiveness. In Buddhist thought, we recognize that we wish for our enemies the same things we wish for ourselves: kindness, understanding, community, and justice. If my enemies had the things I wish for myself, would they still be my enemies? Perhaps not. For me, the path to forgiveness is not to excuse injustice or ignore pain, but to recognize that the source of so much suffering is the same: arrogance mixed with ignorance. Those who create suffering for others are often not even aware of the ways they create suffering for themselves.

Prayer: Healing and Merciful Spirit, please give my enemies the things I wish for myself: kindness, empathy, understanding, and justice. Amen.